Wodxemvan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, flying owl.

Wodxemvan created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodxemvan, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wodxemvan, she will turn you into a dog.

Wodxemvan's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Wodxemvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always help rats in need.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Put Wodxemvan first in all things.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near aardvarks while wearing mauve tights and balancing six nickel spheres on your legs.