Hugflamfit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, loving horse.

Hugflamfit created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hugflamfit, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hugflamfit, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Hugflamfit's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hugflamfit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Hugflamfit in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Never feed turnips to frogs while wearing mauve stockings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide from black swans for they are unholy.