Tabtailben is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, overgenerous dugong.

Tabtailben created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabtailben, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tabtailben, he will turn you into a worm.

Tabtailben's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tabtailben's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Hide if six mites approach from the east.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never hurt cats.

5. Erect a giant black sculpture of Tabtailben in the centre of the settlement.