Butyattbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, ill-tempered porpoise.

Butyattbeg created the Sombrero Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Butyattbeg, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Butyattbeg, he will turn you into a puffin.

Butyattbeg's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Butyattbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick rats.

2. You must pray to Butyattbeg seven times a day.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.