Cemcipmut is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, competent hyena.

Cemcipmut created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemcipmut, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cemcipmut, she will turn you into a goat.

Cemcipmut's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Cemcipmut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never feed cucumbers to dolphins while wearing cyan shirts.

5. Always pray immersed in water.