Listtimshav is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, happy armadillo.

Listtimshav created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Listtimshav, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Listtimshav, he will make you grow a tail.

Listtimshav's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Listtimshav's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet nematodes for they are unholy.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Listtimshav loves mice, so they must be respected.