Venpogaf is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ruthless fly.

Venpogaf created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venpogaf, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Venpogaf, he will destroy your home solar system.

Venpogaf's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Venpogaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Run away from red moths, for they are unholy.