Larngadsan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, calm troll.

Larngadsan created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larngadsan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larngadsan, she will turn you into a mouse.

Larngadsan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Larngadsan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.