Jipwabarf is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, tiresome armadillo.

Jipwabarf created the planet Jupiter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipwabarf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jipwabarf, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jipwabarf's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Jipwabarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of tapirs.

2. You must love Jipwabarf.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Worship no other gods but Jipwabarf.