Dunkansanman is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unthoughtful tortoise.

Dunkansanman created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dunkansanman, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dunkansanman, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Dunkansanman's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Dunkansanman's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention cats.

2. Never think ill of sick rats.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help whales in need.

5. Never wear scarves.