Nathincatfub is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tranquil beaver.

Nathincatfub created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nathincatfub, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nathincatfub, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Nathincatfub's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Nathincatfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt whales.

2. Always help pigs in need.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Nathincatfub.

5. Never eat bark.