Tarpbellbod is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omnipotent dove.

Tarpbellbod created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbellbod, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarpbellbod, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tarpbellbod's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Tarpbellbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Never write about fluid mechanics.

3. Never talk about sharks.

4. Tarpbellbod must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always help rats in need.