Bagjarnbep is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, benevolent squirrel.

Bagjarnbep created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagjarnbep, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bagjarnbep, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Bagjarnbep's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Bagjarnbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Never hurt nematodes.