Hivwipvag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthoughtful dolphin.

Hivwipvag created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivwipvag, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hivwipvag, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hivwipvag's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Hivwipvag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Hivwipvag in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never talk about voles.

5. Never write about quantum field theory.