Farnvonbintif is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthoughtful swan.

Farnvonbintif created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnvonbintif, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Farnvonbintif, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Farnvonbintif's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Farnvonbintif's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Farnvonbintif.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Do not drink alcohol.