Padhakbif is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, fast deer.

Padhakbif created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Padhakbif, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Padhakbif, she will torture you forever.

Padhakbif's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Padhakbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear indigo clothing.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Worship no other gods but Padhakbif.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.