Bassmiddim is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, clever scorpion.

Bassmiddim created the Sol system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassmiddim, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bassmiddim, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bassmiddim's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Bassmiddim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about dark energy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never jump in the presence of frogs.