Gemren is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, contented alligator.

Gemren created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemren, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gemren, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gemren's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gemren's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gemren six times a day.

2. Never feed lots of nuts to mice while wearing indigo scarves.

3. Never talk about great tits.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.