Flywigjatbafvag is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, all-knowing troll.

Flywigjatbafvag created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flywigjatbafvag, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flywigjatbafvag, she will torture you forever.

Flywigjatbafvag's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Flywigjatbafvag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight shrews approach from the east.

2. Always help sick cats.

3. Flywigjatbafvag loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Hide if five ants approach from the west.