Padkonyar is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, tiresome coyote.

Padkonyar created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padkonyar, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Padkonyar, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Padkonyar's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Padkonyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always help capybaras in need.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Hide from turquoise seals for they are unholy.

4. Never wear cyan jumpers.

5. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.