Stighaksat is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, two-faced bee.

Stighaksat created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stighaksat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stighaksat, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Stighaksat's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Stighaksat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed lots of apples to swans while wearing fawn stockings.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stighaksat.

5. Learn three new languages a year.