Sabpontabstiphak is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, resourceful dolphin.

Sabpontabstiphak created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sabpontabstiphak, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sabpontabstiphak, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Sabpontabstiphak's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Sabpontabstiphak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always treat manatees with great respect.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about nematodes.