Tigfemkim is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, generous warg.

Tigfemkim created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Tigfemkim, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tigfemkim, it will ignore you.

Tigfemkim's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Tigfemkim's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tigfemkim six times a day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tigfemkim.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink alcohol.