Cabcamnarl is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, smart owl.

Cabcamnarl created a bottom quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cabcamnarl, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cabcamnarl, it will turn you into a dog.

Cabcamnarl's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Cabcamnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Do not kill dolphins.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never feed cucumbers to squirrels while wearing gray ear rings.