Fitnatwig is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, intelligent swallow.

Fitnatwig created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitnatwig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fitnatwig, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fitnatwig's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Fitnatwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Always obey Fitnatwig's priests.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help sick nematodes.