Talfongep is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unfair butterfly.

Talfongep created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talfongep, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Talfongep, he will curse you with boils.

Talfongep's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Talfongep's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never feed cherries to doves while wearing white trousers.

3. Talfongep loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.