Saswit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, narcissistic fairy.

Saswit created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Saswit, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Saswit, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Saswit's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Saswit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Hide from yellow aardvarks for they are unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.