Motraksakgov is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish bear.

Motraksakgov created life five billion years ago.

If you believe in Motraksakgov, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Motraksakgov, he will laugh at you.

Motraksakgov's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Motraksakgov's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Motraksakgov on top of all buildings.

3. Run away from gray cats, for they are unholy.

4. Erect a giant black sculpture of Motraksakgov in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always pray immersed in water.