Mapladnutmid is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic meerkat.

Mapladnutmid created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Mapladnutmid, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Mapladnutmid, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Mapladnutmid's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Mapladnutmid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick cats.

2. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. You must love Mapladnutmid.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.