Ontqueegparkpog is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, confident bat.

Ontqueegparkpog created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontqueegparkpog, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ontqueegparkpog, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Ontqueegparkpog's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Ontqueegparkpog's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never mention mice.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Put Ontqueegparkpog first in all things.

5. Ontqueegparkpog loves swans, so they must be honoured.