Vangupcad is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, all-knowing porpoise.

Vangupcad created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vangupcad, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vangupcad, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Vangupcad's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Vangupcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near monkeys.

2. Run away from purple badgers, for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Vangupcad.

5. Fast once a month.