Tonbopnill Cardutkim is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, selfish lion.

Tonbopnill Cardutkim created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tonbopnill Cardutkim, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tonbopnill Cardutkim, he will come to you in dreams.

Tonbopnill Cardutkim's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tonbopnill Cardutkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Never hurt otters.

5. Never run in holy places.