Tafcumcumcissyoktail is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, sage bee.

Tafcumcumcissyoktail created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafcumcumcissyoktail, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tafcumcumcissyoktail, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tafcumcumcissyoktail's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tafcumcumcissyoktail's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dolphins.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Run away if four badgers approach from the north.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.