Zimhonhas is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, calm spider.

Zimhonhas created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimhonhas, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zimhonhas, it will cry a lot.

Zimhonhas' most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Zimhonhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about tomatoes.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never think about optics.