Laktonkgad is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, cheerful tapir.

Laktonkgad created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laktonkgad, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Laktonkgad, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Laktonkgad's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Laktonkgad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four tapirs approach from the east.

2. Always look after injured sharks.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Laktonkgad in the centre of the settlement.