Japparkab is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tranquil bee.

Japparkab created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japparkab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Japparkab, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Japparkab's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Japparkab's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Turtles are not to be trusted.