Maptettistiknull is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, humorless cow.

Maptettistiknull created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Maptettistiknull, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Maptettistiknull, she will turn you into a snail.

Maptettistiknull's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Maptettistiknull's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Maptettistiknull six times a day.

2. Never sit in the presence of squirrels.

3. Never eat onions.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Worship no other gods but Maptettistiknull.