Queegkanvon is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciless capybara.

Queegkanvon created the world nine million years ago.

If you believe in Queegkanvon, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Queegkanvon, she will turn you into a puffin.

Queegkanvon's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Queegkanvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.