Flyspagjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, clever meerkat.

Flyspagjarn created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flyspagjarn, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flyspagjarn, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Flyspagjarn's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Flyspagjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never pour water over plants.