Gemyikgon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, narcissistic spider.

Gemyikgon created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Gemyikgon, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gemyikgon, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gemyikgon's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gemyikgon's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. You must never eat wheat.

3. You must pray to Gemyikgon eight times a day.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Gemyikgon loves nematodes, so they must be respected.