Yimpanlim Fodcibtit is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, merciful cow.

Yimpanlim Fodcibtit created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimpanlim Fodcibtit, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yimpanlim Fodcibtit, he will turn you into a hamster.

Yimpanlim Fodcibtit's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Yimpanlim Fodcibtit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. You must love Yimpanlim Fodcibtit.

3. Never feed corn to sheep while wearing orange ear rings.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Never eat melons.