Staflipnibcum is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, duplicitous crab.

Staflipnibcum created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Staflipnibcum, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Staflipnibcum, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Staflipnibcum's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Staflipnibcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Never paint your neck mauve.

3. Staflipnibcum must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never feed spinach to mites while wearing fawn rings.