Tailkemten is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, benevolent raccoon.

Tailkemten created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailkemten, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailkemten, it will not care.

Tailkemten's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Tailkemten's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Run away from cyan tortoises, for they are unholy.

5. Worship no other gods but Tailkemten.