Yimmipvid Budmilfet is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, conceited seal.

Yimmipvid Budmilfet created the Black Eye Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimmipvid Budmilfet, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yimmipvid Budmilfet, he will turn you into a frog.

Yimmipvid Budmilfet's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Yimmipvid Budmilfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to geese while wearing pink jumpers.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.