Quafbastvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthinking hedgehog.

Quafbastvonk created gold nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quafbastvonk, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quafbastvonk, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Quafbastvonk's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Quafbastvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of foxes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about dark energy near birds while wearing magenta skirts.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.