Wapminbanpomquartzodjab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthinking faun.

Wapminbanpomquartzodjab created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapminbanpomquartzodjab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wapminbanpomquartzodjab, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Wapminbanpomquartzodjab's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Wapminbanpomquartzodjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near birds while wearing indigo tights.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wapminbanpomquartzodjab.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wapminbanpomquartzodjab.