Funfagpit is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous swan.

Funfagpit created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Funfagpit, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Funfagpit, it will turn you into a worm.

Funfagpit's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Funfagpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear blue clothing.

2. Hide if four grasshopers approach from the east.

3. Hide from orange mites for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.