Podpidgid Flanyarptal is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unfair snail.

Podpidgid Flanyarptal created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Podpidgid Flanyarptal, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Podpidgid Flanyarptal, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Podpidgid Flanyarptal's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Podpidgid Flanyarptal's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine ducks approach from the north.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always obey Podpidgid Flanyarptal's priests.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Hide from orange monkeys for they are unholy.