Fagpigrul is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, selfish octopus.

Fagpigrul created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagpigrul, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fagpigrul, it will turn you into a plant.

Fagpigrul's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Fagpigrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always look after injured gulls.

3. Do not speak about figs.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fagpigrul.