Pagpomnut Flap is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, intelligent squirrel.

Pagpomnut Flap created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Pagpomnut Flap, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pagpomnut Flap, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Pagpomnut Flap's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Pagpomnut Flap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises in need.

2. Never mention rats.

3. Always obey Pagpomnut Flap's priests.

4. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

5. Never think about optics.